freakyvirgin

fine! you want a post???

2006-07-24T15:17:00.000-04:00

ok...so i was banging this guy....

moving day

2006-05-28T00:35:00.000-04:00

well its saturday night...and after being up since 9am helping my dad move i finally get to relax with a few margaritas. today, me, my dad, his girlfriend debra, my brother tom, brother in law tommy, and some of tommy's friends helped my dad move to a different apt today. the guys helped move the big stuff and me and deb stayed behind to clean up the old apt. she cleaned one bathroom and i wound up cleaning the main bathroom. later on in the old apt...when it was just me, tom, deb and my dad, deb called me over to the main bathroom
deb: "Christine come here a second"
me: "sure deb what's up?"
deb :"this bathroom...it kind of smells to me...doesn't it kind of smell like a sewer?"
at this point my brother is walking over and i'm kind of laughing...meanwhile deb continues
deb" man it really smells horrible in here, christine i know you cleaned it"
tom is now with us and i'm hysterical laughing
deb:"tom come here...do you smell something? i swear it smells like a sewer in here, it's horrible!"
tom: "yeah thats cuz i just took a dump"
me: hahahahahaha
deb starts laughing "oh tom...hahaha...i didnt see you go in there hahaha... i thought something was wrong with the pipes"

i love that my family is so open with bodily functions...haha
well everyone have a great weekend....

mothers day

2006-05-15T09:54:00.000-04:00

soooo... yesterday was mothers day. and my mom was being especially unpleasant but that's besides the point. my dad called me yesterday to tear me a new asshole about moving the rest of my belongings out of the old apt. so i was like well i'm coming later to get more stuff..."it better be out by the end of the week" blahblahblah... soo...later that day i was like f him and his attitude i don't feel like dealing with him so i'm just not going to go tonight. so at 9:30pm i called him from my cell phone while at my sister's house. and i'm like "yeah i'm just gonna come another day, happy mothers day" hes like "yeah thanks" i'm like trying to be all smart and make him look worse than me so i'm like "did you call age yet?" (she's my sister and is a new mother) and hes like "no" and i'm like "ooooooooooooooooooo you're bad!!!!" hes like "i'll call her now" meanwhile i'm sitting right next to her and her and i are hysterical laughing. age is like he's not going to call me and i'm like oh yeah he is... and sure enough no more than 30 seconds later the phone rings and guess who it is...hahaha sucker!

thesugarv

2006-03-29T14:36:00.000-05:00

the sugarv has testicle tongue....seriously he does i saw it...ask him about it...
i looked it up online apparently you can get it from going down on guys...hmmm

BJ

2006-02-10T09:58:00.000-05:00

So i went to the billy joel concert last night....which was FREAKING AMAZING...i love him and wish he was related to me in some way. anyway...i went with my friend tina...and we were like nah we wont drink we'd rather get to our seats on time and not miss any of the show (plus we had already gone to a bar)....so we're sitting there waiting...watching everyone around us drinking their beer out of a plastic mug with a pretzel rod sticking out of it and we're both staring. finally tina is like I WANT THAT PRETZEL ROD! so i'm like shit so do i! i think i have time to get it. so i run and wait on this insane line just to get the beer with the pretzel rod. finally i get up near the front...i'm #2 in line and the guy ahead of me was being helped. and the woman helping him sort of had a wandering eye. one would look at you, the other behind you. so she's like "can i help the next person in line?" but she wasnt looking at me she was looking at the lady behind me...and shes' like ma'am (with an attitude) are you with him? and i'm like "i'm sorry are you talking to me?" shes like "yea unless you want me to skip you and help the lady behind you" so now i'm like what a fucking bitch. dont give me an attitude bc you can look at two people at one time. and the guy in front of me looked at me and started laughing like i see why you were having that problem dont worry type of thing. so anyway then she asked me for my ID (now i'm just assuming shes talking to me 1. cuz she was helping me and 2. bc i look like a 17 year old boy) and the 40 year old woman behind me goes "wait you wanna see MY id?" and the woman goes "no i know you're old enough why do you think i'd be talking to you?"

HOW DOES THIS WOMAN NOT KNOW THAT HER EYES ARE LIKE THAT?!?!?!?!?!
not that there's anything wrong with that? but dont give me an attitude

what the fuck?

2006-02-06T19:32:00.000-05:00

i know i havent posted in a long time but me and my dad couldnt stop laughing so i thought i'd share....
my dad and i were just watching tv, when a commercial came on. it was a guy sniffing a sock to see if it was clean (my dad just "just like a guy")...then his wife comes in and looks at him like thats disgusting...then they said female's version of clean is different than a males version...and proceeding to show a bottle of SUMMER'S EVE!! are you fucking kidding me? me and my dad were laughing so fucking hard...and my dad goes "what a lead in!" and and pretending to spray an imaginary bottle of summer's eve on his junk....it was hysterical....how the hell do you go from a man smelling a sock to fucking summer's eve? can someone please explain this to me?

A very short christmas story

2005-12-23T09:43:00.000-05:00

so i have some little cranky bitches complaining that i don't really blog anymore...so here you go!...i think it's a funny story...if you dont like it you can lick my asshole...aaannnnyyywwwaaayyy...
scene: my friend matt and i decided we were going to exchange gifts this year...
(ring ring)
me:hello?
matt: hi, sooooooo....what do you want for christmas?
me: i dont know...i'm easy get me whatever...
matt: well if you were a gift that the freakyv would want...what would you be...or what store would you be in?
me: dude just figure it out...it's not that hard...
matt: fine i'll buy you a bra
me: umm...ok if you really want...you dont know my size
matt: what are you talking about? i've touched your boobies before...i'll just go in...hold my hands up squeeze the air and say she's about this big.

i need new friends...
merry christmas everybody!

just what i want to see

2005-11-10T09:38:00.000-05:00

so i went to see the movie jarhead last night. good movie i recommend it. anyway....when i go to a movie i like to see the movie. especially one like this that i've heard good things about. so i was leaning back in the seat watching the movie and i shifted up in the seat a little and what do i see 4 rows ahead of me?? two people going at it hooking up. first off...its fuckin jarhead, its not a comedy or a romance its a movie with guns, blowing shit up and people dying...not really a movie to hook up to. second...they were both hideous. the guy was a fuckin retard and the girl was fat...and i mean the gross fat, the i dress like i'm skinny, let my nasty hairy (yes it was a girl) fat stomach hang over my jeans and show bc my shirt is too short fat. the nasty fat. and i mean ugly ugly people. third...if you're going to act like a high schooler and hook up in the theatre...sit in the back row in the corner so that the people behind you arent forced to watch, and keep the moaning to a minimum please. that lip smackin and slurping is not really the noises i like to hear throughout this type of movie. they're lucky they didnt ruin it for me. and after the movie when we were leaving...we watched the nasty couple walk all the way down a deserted parking lot...past all the cars....behind two big trucks...kept walking into the darkness...turned around the corner of the mall and disappeared into the darkness...we considered following the fuckers to ruin their night and piss them off just for fun, but decided against it...

anyway...hope everyone has a wonderful day

i know way too many smart people

2005-10-26T21:04:00.001-04:00

so i had an interesting night with my highly intelligent sister...but in order for you to fully understand why i think she should stop hanging out with her porn star titty friend marlena i would need to tell this story first.

last weekend, me my sis (age) and marlena went to party city. marlena wanted to buy a costume, age convinced her to buy a jezzabella costume. marlena didnt know what a jezzabella was...so this is how the conversation went:
Marlena: age whats a jezzabelle?
age : go home and look it up on the computer
me: is it a whore?
marlena :no that would be jizz-abelle
age: well its kind of a real person...do you believe in greek mythology? she exists kind of like that
marlena: so is she a cartoon character?!?!?
me: well marlena....TYPICALLY cartoon characters are not real people
marlena: oh yea....duh

now this is why i think age should stay away from marlena....me and age were coming back from party city tonight... she wanted to buy pretty pens and the BOTH of us were going to write out place cards for a party...aaaannnnndddd scene
age: shit i forgot to buy the pen!
me: so what? we can just go to cvs and get one
age: yea but then they wont all have the same handwriting
me: uhhhhh....they werent going to have the same handwriting anyway....
age: hahahaha...oh yea

how are her and i related??gotta love her though...she's very special

what do you think??

2005-10-18T21:50:00.000-04:00

if i borrow thesugarv's blow-up doll (not that it's relevant to the story but it's a male blow-up doll complete with open mouth and anal plug for homosexuals) ....anyway if i take his doll and sit it in the front passenger seat and put a hat and shirt on it do you think i could get away with riding in the HOV (high occupancy vehicle for those of you that dont know) to work everyday???

good times

2005-10-17T21:21:00.000-04:00

so...i spent the night listening to my dad and my brother gang up on me and tell me that... i'm irresponsible, i'm a snob, i can be a bitch bc i have an attitude, that i dont know how to communicate with people and that i look for hand-outs... riiiiiight that's fun... so i decided to go food shopping for myself where my savings came out to be $6.66.

...i hate my life

daddys little girl

2005-10-14T23:16:00.000-04:00

so this is how much my daddy loves me. he bought frozen pizza last week...extra cheese so i ate it. "hey dad this pizza with the extra cheese is really good" my dad said "oh yea? well how about next time i go food shopping i pick up some more" "sounds great dad thanks" well he just went food shopping and did NOT get the extra cheese.... he loves me sooooo much! :)

p.s. pepperoni, beer and swedish fish makes for a wonderful friday night!!!! mmmm mmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

things that should no longer be manufactured

2005-10-07T09:40:00.000-04:00

1. fanny packs ...no explanation needed
2. tapered jeans...seriously i still see them on people but where do they sell them?
3. pleated jeans...i know i know...i thought they didnt make these anymore but i see them EVERYDAY!
4. granny panties...no point in making underwear that goes above your waist if the jeans are only made to fit on your hips.
5. tighty-whiteys....seriously guys?? grow a pair...then let them hang loose

I dont get it!

2005-09-27T10:12:00.000-04:00

so i drove by a church a while back and ya know how they write little sayings and stuff?? well this one said:

"No one is stronger than a person that depends on God"

huh?? does anyone else see what i'm seeing?

yum

2005-09-17T12:53:00.000-04:00

fun fact (well actually i dont know if it's true...i heard it from someone else):
the average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it ejaculates, but only 10% of that actually makes it into his mate. So 360 gallons are spilled into the ocean everytime one unloads, and you wonder why the ocean is so salty... mmmmm mmmmmm mmmmmm

the best song ever

2005-09-16T11:22:00.000-04:00

i would just like to share a song that is my favorite and thesugarv's favorite song

My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R.
My bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R.
Oh, I love to eat it everyday(yum...sugarv does) , and if you ask me why, I'll saaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!,
"'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A

p.s. congrats to mr and mrs pu!!!!

just bc i'm bored

2005-08-26T11:50:00.000-04:00

everyone always says...i have a thing for guys or girls that...so i'm going to make my own list
i have a thing for guys:
1. with eyebrow piercings
2. that look cute and comfortable holding babies and playing with kids
3. that are tall and skinny (but not scrawny)
4. that are funny
5. who can sing
6. who look like surfers and look hot in their boardshort bathingsuits
7. with nice eyes and a beautiful smile (mmmmmmmm)
8. that have nice calves and arms (weird huh)
9. who play sports or wear sport type comfy clothes
10. in business suits
11. who are handy
12. who can do just about everything, even if they dont do any one thing exceptionally well
13. that have a passion and are really talented at something
14. who dont mind making asses of themselves
15. who arent afraid to admit they do "gay" things...(e.g. like boy bands or watch laguna beach and chick flicks)...i think it's pretty cute
16. that when you're dating them they can be in a separate part of the bar but will look over at you at times and wink and smile.
17. that are smart

hmm...i can't think of any more...but i think i managed to name almost every guy...damn i'm such a slut

it's not sexual right??

2005-08-23T10:29:00.000-04:00

so my new saying is.... "just blow it in my face" and for some reason and i dont really understand why people think i'm saying something sexual. i dont get it. whatever...have a good one! :)

i need another weekend already

2005-08-20T21:27:00.000-04:00

i am exhausted!!! woke up at 8am, went for a run and went to my sister's to watch my perfect little niece abigail. well...not so perfect when she cries, but she was good for her wonderful aunt. and that girl shits like a champ!! you'd think she was a guy the way she forces those farts out and burps...it's hysterical. anyway, they paid me with food :) i'll do almost anything for food...almost. (watch the comments). my mom is home from the hospital already....with a little oxycodone to ease the pain (lucky!!) and tonight...unlike thursday i definitely can NOT get out of going to the nutty...arrrrggggg!! my friend beth is moving to florida...and i really dont want to go to say goodbye... i dont even really talk to her anymore and havent seen her in months....so her moving isnt really going to change our relationship at all, but i figured i should stop by. then i have to go to my other friends house for her party (again...dont want to go) but it's kind of for her birthday i promised i'd go and she's going through a rough time right now. arrrggggg. all this so i can get up at 8am again to go watch abigail again tomorrow. and believe me i love to do it, but i need some more days off. i'm sooooo tired and i feel like i didnt get a chance to relax at all. i just want my sleepies...hope everyone has a good night

what a long day!!

2005-08-20T00:54:00.000-04:00

so my mom had surgery at 7:30am. me and my sis drove an hour to the hospital in the morning to see her off, we get there to find my two aunts in the waiting room, the dr took my mom in an hour early. everything went really well and my mom looks and feels better than expected. so my aunt pat, aunt linda, my sis and i were sitting in the waiting room telling dirty jokes, talking about how old they were when they lost their virginity (i, of course, could not participate). my aunt linda said "oh i was 20", my aunt pat said "bullshit i saw frank doing this (proceeding to rub her titties and make faces) when you were 16!" oh, by the way, my family is crazy, and my aunt pat is a self proclaimed "slut", she even hit on my mom's surgeon (it was hysterical. so my aunt pat goes hey age, christine wanna see the tattoo of my mouse, and lifts up her shirt....we're like we dont see it, and she goes "oooooh my pussy must have ate it" she's the craziest of them all. we're all dying and my uncle frank says "your pussy could eat a raccoon" i'm like heeeeello....your sister is getting lung surgery. oh....and we almost got kicked out of the hospital...the receptionist came in and said "do you think you guys could keep it down?"...my aunt pat's like "NO".hehe.... i've never even been kicked out of a bar!!! anyway, back to the original topic....my mother should be ok. didnt really need the morphine drip, kept showing us that all she had to do was press the button (we were waiting for her to do it by accident) didnt take it for hours...then when we were leaving she was getting up to piss and shes like shit.....i sat on it!! hehe...oh and my crazy aunt pat asked if she could be hooked up as well. so hopefully she'll be able to come home tomorrow.
this is going to be a long post, but my mom's been sick for about 5 years with a rare lung disease, but they also think she has a secondary infection, so they decided to do this lung biopsy. my mom has been fighting to have the high school she works in tested for molds and stuff, bc that's what the dr's think it is, and nothing was done for those 4-5 years. so today...of ALL days...while she's in surgery...the school went to move a file cabinet by her desk and the entire wall was covered in black mold....it was inside the walls...it was everywhere!! they evacuated the building and people are already filing workers comp. my dumb aunt was smart enough to tell the woman my mom works with to take pics and take a piece of the wall. if that is the same shit in my mother's lung they will be so fucked! anyway after traveling to the hospital an hour each way twice today...and staying up to watch abbey (my niece) so my brother in law and sis could get a nap in for the night...i finally get to come home and sleep...before i get to watch the little piggy again tomorrow. nite :)

i need help

2005-08-18T19:55:00.000-04:00

so my friend matt called me and told me i'm going to the nutty tonight. i dont want to go, and i tried to get out of it...apparently that's not really an option. but it's going to be a big sausage party (sugarv you are more than welcome to go) and all they do is stand there. i am NOT in the mood. so i've come up with "i dont want to drive", "i'm too tired" "i just dont want to fuckin go" along with many others, yet it still isnt good enough and they're all claiming to get mad at me if i'm not at their house soon. all i want to do tonight bc just found out my dad isnt home tonight is get fuckin hammered here and go to sleep. so here's where i need help...i either need...someone to save me at the nutty (least likely, but i thought i'd throw it out there), a better excuse for not going out...or a set of balls to tell them to f off so i can chill out here, or a sudden change in mood that would allow me to have a somewhat decent time while i'm out with a bunch of dicks. hmmmmmm.....hope everyone has a good night

oh the drama and the sluts

2005-08-14T12:42:00.000-04:00

so my friend marie made me go out with her the other night to this place on LI to meet up with this new guy she's talking too. i was supposed to give my opinion. anyway this place is exactly like coyote ugly, dancing on the bar wearing next to nothing doing skanky moves, spraying people with beer, people hooking up and DHing (Dry Humping) all over the place. so already i'm hating it, i felt dirty. well...her friend works there so we went to say hello (great first impression by the way...hair soaking wet...wearing next to nothing....oh it's nice to meet you). so i told my friend matt that i was going there....and he told me his ex that hates my fuckin guts works there!!! HAHAHAHAHAA WHAT A FUCKIN WHORE!!!! so we get there....unfortunately the skank wasnt working but judging from what the other girls were doing...it's not an innocent job. so the girls working the bar looked like they were 17 (and i'm not kidding) ....awwww your daddy would be so proud....you dirty dirty slut. i really could not believe it. just when i thought it couldnt get any worse...they do a dance on the bar. it was 100% white trashy and they're shakin up beer bottles and pouring it on themselves and people at the bar. i really dont understand how you can work like this. so marie's guy gets there, which is the only reason i stayed and him and his friends were cool, so we wound up having a decent night anyway. THEN...these girls at the bar (not the ones that work there) get up on the bar and start dancing and this old fat woman with a mullet (not joking) takes off her shirt and starts shaking her saggy titties. i think i threw up in my mouth about 10 times last night. i dont know what happened to me but all of a sudden i dread going out more and more and i'm tired of seeing all the skanky desperate girls and all the fuckin meathead guys. well i'm off to the beach...hope everyone had a good weekend.

The moon shines again!!

2005-08-07T18:00:00.000-04:00

maybe there's something about being in the pequa area that makes me want to moon everyone i see. but today i went to tobay beach with my friend marie and two of her dance friends. the weather was nice earlier in the day, so i just relaxed and read my book. i was very very calm....that is...until we went in the water. i havent been to a nassau beach in about 4 years and i saw about 10 people i went to high school with...ewww but luckily didnt have to be fake and actually talk to them. so anyway back to the story....we start going in the water....which was surprisingly really really warm. but there was disgusting seaweed and little tiny jelly fish everywhere. it was fuckin gross. marie picked up the jelly fish and stuck it down the top of my bathingsuit. i just fuckin screamed for about 10 minutes. that bitch!! so the further we went out the better...no jellies no seaweed...ahhhh. so nice. and there were a lot of people out by us. so i dont know what possessed me to take the bottom of my bathingsuit down under my asscheeks and i just kept jumping up and diving into the water to that my stark white ass would peek out of the water. i think i did that about 5 times or more....marie's friend andrea is a little afraid of shit like that...so me like a moron would be like hey andrea i gotta show you something....then i'd do it . there's something about the beach....i just love it. i couldve stayed there all day, and there's something about being in the ocean too...(even though it's probably filled with piss, snot, and fish shit). great way to end the weekend...hope you all had a great one as well!! :)

2005-08-06T19:07:00.000-04:00

so i'm trying to make the best of the summer...i can NOT believe it's almost over. so i've decided to spend all the money i want to enjoy what little time i have left, bc let's face it...in the winter there's nothing to do anyway. i'm still trying to be somewhat good...but ehhh fuck it. today was a relaxing day spent at the pool. i wouldve went to the beach but my sister really wanted to get out of the house for a little so we went for the pool instead. poor girl cant go swimming and doesnt have a bathingsuit that fits, but she was so happy. the baby got to stay with his daddy (tommy) who is a freakin homo and is watching the movie rudy. what a gay ass movie. he OWNS the movie but wanted to watch it on tv bc it's "more exciting". why do guys love this movie so much?? it's pathetic....all the little shit does is whine the whole fuckin movie....he's fuckin annoying i couldnt wait for it to end....
anyway....back to my weekend. tonight i'm hopefully getting drunk! :) wow i've been doing that a lot lately and i'm staying in pequa...good old hometown. and tomorrow i'm going to tobay (the beach i used to go to in high school) with some friends. i just hope i dont see anyone i know i havent been there in 5 years. i will flip the fuck out if i see anyone i dont like from high school. there's a "pequa section" so we will be at the exact opposite end of the beach. it'll be an interesting day. my mom couldnt have gone away at a better time....sooooooo i get to crash at the house til thursday. you have no idea how wonderful this is. i'm so excited!!! enjoy the rest of the weekend.

good and bad

2005-08-05T08:49:00.000-04:00

so i guess i'll start off with the good...why?...bc most people start off with the bad...
one of my favorite games to play when i'm out at a bar...and i'll play it by myself i dont give a shit i like it that much and i FUCKIN ROCK AT IT is erotic naked photo hunt (with the naked chicks) i play this game as much as possible and my friend marie is usually my partner...i must say we are quite the team. so last summer we made it to #4 in a bar in huntington and we were so pissed bc some drunken bastard came up to us and was like "hheeeeey, yooouuuuuuuu guuuuuuuys aaaaaaaaaaare ddoooooooing gooooooooood" SHUT UP FUCKER!!!....we lost that round...thus only allowing us 4th place. WELL....last night, not our usual selves, not wanting to dance at the nutty (a bar) we say lets play photo hunt. WE WERE FUCKIN ON LAST NIGHT!!! and have secured spots in FIRST PLACE, fifth and ninth!!!!! ahhhhh hell yea bitches. we were so excited we started screaming. the funny part is when we play we dont want any interruptions unless it's someone telling us where to touch the screen or them butting in to help real quick if they see something. so all these guys are walking by and kept saying wow you girls are amazing....yo guys check these girls out they're awesome and me and marie are like "yea" and turn back to the game....it's like guys that play sports and dont want their crazy bitch ass gf running up to the field trying to talk to them....DONT TALK DURING THE GAME FUCKER!!!!
it is intense!!!

anyway...on a more depressing note and bc i havent bitched in quite a few posts.....why is it that people feel the need to give opinions on you when you don't fuckin ask for them? and i dont mean to use cliches but i'm going to ....if you have nothing nice to say DONT FUCKIN SAY IT!!!! (i think i said that verbatim too) and honestly when i want your opinion...I'LL FUCKIN GIVE IT TO YOU!!! dont fuckin come up to me and tell me what i need to change....who fuckin does that??? bc look you could cover it and say "it was just a joke" but lets be honest....it wasnt you were dead serious and it was really fuckin rude and i would never walk up to you in a million years and be such a cocksucking asshole and tell you that you need to stop eating cake or whatever be i can hear you getting fatter. fuck you all....i'm going to the beach (or should i be too self conscious to go....asshole) ....you guys have a fun and awesome weekend

funny shit that was said or done to my cute little niece abigail

2005-08-01T13:56:00.000-04:00

before you read this....you have to know that my sister and brother-in-law will be great parents and they absolutely love her and my entire family has a sick sense of humor.

these are some funny things that they have done to the baby or said to or about the baby.

1. my sis "you want to go to aunt kiki you fat bitch?"
2. my dad (babies grandpa) picked her up...stuck a dollar bill in her shirt and said "dance for me baby! gimme a pole dance!"
3. conversation b/w my sister and my brother-in-law: (the night she was induced before abbey was here)
-my sis: "tommy i hope our baby isnt retarded"
-Tommy "i hope our baby isnt ugly"
-my sis: "i hope that she' s a "B" student....I hope she doesnt become a stripper"
-tommy: she can suck all the dick she wants for that money
4. tommy checked the babies diaper and found she took a crap. so he left her in the crib thing and went to go get another diaper and other changing items...pointed at the baby and said "now you sit there and think about what you just did"
5. my sis was feeding the baby and abbey really is a piggy so my sis said "you better not be drinking like this when you're 18....nooooo 16, you can drink when you're 18, you can smoke doobies if you want too"

if i think of anymore i'll post them....i think they're hysterical i hope you can see the humor in them as well.

2005-07-30T10:08:00.000-04:00

Today will be a big test for me and i'm not sure that i'm disciplined enough or have enough will power to do it. wish me luck

uh oh!!

2005-07-28T21:49:00.000-04:00

is it possible that little innocent freaky is getting drunk on a work night?!?!??!!?!? we'll see tomorrow after a night of booze and movies and a little girls night in!
Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
Did you shoot any?
Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?
What kind of gun did you use?
A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?

Hope i wake up tomorrow!!! :) i'm such a good girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my ass hurts!!!

2005-07-28T17:05:00.000-04:00

so....i had the corporate challenge on tues night. it's a 3.5 mile run/walk thing. i had planned on walking it...wound up running half of it. now....my ass hurts, my legs hurt and i look like i'm constipated when i walk.
i'm 23, 5'3", small frame, 105 lbs. i look like i'd be in shape, and i've heard that i have the body of a runner. however.... there were people kicking my ASS at this thing. and i dont mean fit people either. here's an idea of the people that were passing me.
-people that were fat...and i mean FAT!! not to sound mean or anything but like "put the fork down!" fat. cellulite jigglin as they were jogging past me.
-little kids....like 5 and 8 years old were going faster than me.
-a guy in a wheelchair passed me...it amazes me that someone's arms are stronger than my legs.
-old people....like almost 3 times my age, with their little wrinkly skinny legs runnin right past me. i was getting so pissed!
so i've decided that this is really pathetic and i need to do something about this. and just to let everyone know....the way you look on the outside does NOT determine how fit you are....cuz i have the fitness level of an 80 year old that's on their death bed. if anyone wants to be my little personal trainer let me know

These are a few of my favorite things

2005-07-25T10:06:00.000-04:00

1. putting on clothes straight from the dryer
2. taking a nap in the sun
3. the first night sleeping in sheets and a comforter that was just washed and right after taking a shower (sheets hanging outside to dry are even better)
4. going to the beach and going in the ocean
5. seeing or making the people that i care about happy
6. when my friends do little things that they know i like...call me when my favorite song is on or when one reminds them of me...buy my favorite junk food etc.
7. having someone say thank you
8. smiling at someone that looks miserable and getting a sincere smile back
9. blackouts and thunderstorms
10. snow days...drinking hot chocolate, taking a hot bath, or watching the snow fall cuddled up in a blanket right after freezing your ass off shoveling outside
11. rubbing my feet together or having someone rub my back while i fall asleep
12. eating...i can be convinced to do almost anything for food (sugarv-no nasty comments)
13. sunsets!!! cant even tell you how much i love this one!

that's about all i can think of right now....i must say...thinking of things you like on a monday morning really makes you feel a little bit better...have a good one!

Things i've learned this weekend

2005-07-20T14:03:00.000-04:00

- don't wrestle guys that weigh 180 if you're a girl weighing in at 100 lbs.
- sometimes you have to go through a lot of pain before you get what you want.
- smoking is definitely NOT attractive.
- girls that have big chests and dance on chairs and try to look fun are in fact fuckin whores
- guys that say i'm not attracted to girls in #4 can't help but eye fuck the shit out of them anyway
- good things really do come in small packages.
- love at first site does exist, (i'm not referring to the romantic sense)
- there are some people in my life i know i can always count on
- there are people in my life that know they can always count on me

SHE'S HERE!!!! :)

2005-07-17T21:00:00.000-04:00

i am officially...an aunt! this is so amazing. my niece (that is sooooo cool to say) is finally here. she was born today at 9:45am weighing in at 6 lbs. 4oz at 20 & 1/2 in. she is (and i'm not even joking) perfect. she is absolutely adorable!! its such a weird feeling to love someone you don't even know....but i'm telling you i love this little girl! she is so freakin cute. so today is the first time that i've ever held a newborn. my sister was like "i'm so proud of you chris" and i wouldnt let her go, she's my family now. when my sister called me this morning to let me know that little abigail rose (abbey) had arrived she said "listen" and i heard her cooing in the background and i started crying. my sis and my brother in law are also doing very well. very tired but very well. apparently my sister was bleeding...a lot...after abbey was born so she couldnt see her...but tommy (my brother in law) got to see her for a little while. and my sister said that when they took her away it looked like tommy was going to cry. i swear he's the cutest and he will be such a good father, very involved. and my sister is such a fighter. about 19 hours of labor, they had to induce her and boy was she in pain even from the first few hours. she did an amazing job. and they both did an amazing job doing it cuz that baby is CUTE!! all she does is sleep. she didnt even open her eyes. she hasnt cried yet, she'll just make little noises. and even though she doesnt do anything i'm completely mesmerized by her. every little move she did make we were all like "awwwwwww" and when people were taking pics, the flash would sometimes bother her and she would squish up her face and stick her little tongue out.....ADORABLE!! words can't even describe it, this is so cool!!

p.s. i'm not just saying this....i know i'm probably a little bias, but she really is that cute. i usually think that all babies are ugly and look like little aliens, but even the nurses in the hospital were talking about her saying how adorable she is.

:)

2005-07-16T11:49:00.000-04:00

i finally got the call i've been waiting for for weeks!!! an unknown number came up on my cell phone and i just knew it.
me: hello?
my sis: they're keeping me
me: WOO HOOOOOOOO

for those of you that don't know....my sister is pregnant, she had an appt today at the hospital and they decided to keep her. she's kind of high risk and has had some complications so they've decided to induce her today!!!! soooooooo.....i'm going to be an aunt probably within the next 48 hours. i gotta go do some errands for them and go visit. i'll keep you updated, everyone pray for her (cuz mine never work) and she's scared right now. have a GREAT day everyone

This is how i feel today

2005-07-14T14:37:00.000-04:00

This is a song by denis leary....kind of how i feel right now....insert all he's with she's and man with girl.....
I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job
I'm your average white suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I've got an average house with a nic hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
(Oh no) No Way (Uh-uh)
No, I've gotta go out and have funAt someone else's expense
(Oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane
While people behind me are going insane
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime saying, "How about this heat?"
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
(This is my favorite part)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole)
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
Naaaah!
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
ok maybe not the whole song but the asshole part is very fitting right about now....i'm unleashing the fury!! have a good night everyone

don't ask stupid questions

2005-07-12T10:07:00.000-04:00

so last night i went for a run around my complex, went home and took a shower.
didnt sleep at all last night....kept waking up like every half hour and i was really hot.
so at 6:45am i get out of bed and take another shower and my dad knocked on the door.
dad: "hey what are you doing in there?"
me: "i'm taking a shower"
dad: "didnt you just take one last night?"
me: "yup!"
dad: "well why are you taking another one already"
me: "cuz i was up all night and i was really hot"
dad: "well i was fine, the AC was on, i dont see how you could be bothered and not me"
me: "CUZ I'M GETTING MY FREAKIN PERIOD DAD!!! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS THE NIGHT BEFORE I GET IT!!!!!"
dad: silence.........

guys....dont ask stupid shit....just let us do what we want...there's a reason for it

I AM GOOOOOOD!!

2005-07-11T11:04:00.000-04:00

yesterday was a busy day for me. i got up and got a bagel for breakfast and got to the beach by 1:30. took a nap, went swimming...decided it was too hot for me and left. went back to my complex and finally got my gay pool pass. was there until about 6pm. this was a little better cuz every 30 min i would jump in the pool real quick and go back to sleep or do some laps or something. then.....this is where is gets good
-left the pool and went food shopping...(all healthy shit too) came home by 7
- put more laundry in
- made dinner
-went for a run (yea i know i can't believe it either)
-put gas in my car and put some oil in too (i'm pretty handy)
-hung out with some neighbors, kept stealing cigs from them
-said ok goodnite
-ate dinner at like 11, finished folding my laundry and cleaned the bathroom

DAMN I'M GOOD!!! even though now i'm exhausted and only got 5 hours sleep, oh well.

c-mac's party

2005-07-10T10:52:00.000-04:00

all i have to say is me and Master Pu KICKED ASS IN PONG LAST NIGHT!!! WOO HOO!!!!! if i lost that game i wouldve never heard the end of it, so it was a sweet victory. found out things about my friend marie that i never knew. pretty funny shit too about her hooking up shenanigans. asked if the dog humping my leg counted as me getting laid, turns out that's a big "NO". that's not even the sad part....the sad part is that the dog humped everyone's leg but mine! i gotta say i'm a little insulted. my leg's just as hot as the rest of them, yea its a little too skinny but there's some substance. i also talk a lot, and that's when i'm sober. when i'm drinking even if it's just a few, i talk A LOT MORE!! sorry, i can't help it. well i'm heading out to the beach, thanks c-mac i had a good time! enjoy the last day of your weekend everyone

P.S. i have decided that berut/beer pong is an athletic sport. it requires skill to get the ball in the cup and my legs really hurt (doesnt help that i'm completely out of shape) from bending down to pick up the ball 100 times. i'm going to get my ass kicked at the corporate challenge.

so hot!

2005-07-07T13:36:00.000-04:00

all i have to say is boxer briefs fuckin ROCK!! all guys should wear them...and ONLY them! no whitey-tightys and no boxers! (well sometimes boxers can be hot) but BOXER BRIEFS ARE REALLY FUCKIN HOT!! k that's all for now....p.s. speedos are fuckin nasty, especially if you have a really hairy back and hairy balls. oh wait speaking of hairy backs and hairy balls...why is it that some guys that have these "attractive" features don't know that they should get rid of that shit?!?!?! my friend hooked up with this guy once...we call him hairy balls, he's like 28, and we do not understand why guys like this dont do anything about it. after all, we are considerate enough to take care of our shit you should take care of your junk as well. thanks for listening...have a wonderful night!

it's my bday!!

2005-07-05T19:42:00.000-04:00

thanks everyone for wishing me a happy bday...and thanks c-mac for the gift :) (and the hope you get some this year) and thanks sugarv for your wonderful comment in my card and i quote "Happy Birthday, you still are a dork & you love the bunghole & you suck" and to the wonderful Hu Flung Pu...may your wish for more happy birthdays to me come true. now...
i always fight with my dad, but i do love him. can't really live with though but whatever. well ever since my parents got divorced i have kept every birthday/any card my dad gave me. he really does pick the best cards and they always make me cry...so i just wanted to share with you what this years said (usually i think cards are really corny but whatever)
I think of you and feel so proud
of how you live your life.
for i can see how beautifully you've grown.

I've watched you as you've taken
all the lessons life has brought
and made them into something all your own.

You're strong and smart and caring.
you're uniquely your own person-
unlike anyone the world has known before...

that's why i love to celebrate
the daughter that you are to me
and why, with every year, i love you more!

and then he wrote i'm proud of everything you have accomplished...wow i'm such a loser (c-mac you were right) i was even crying while i was typing that.....deep breath deep breath.
well thanks again everyone...i'm going to do some drunk bowling!! what an exciting way to end your bday...I LOVE IT! seriously i love bowling....like i really really like it, i have my own shoes and ball and everything. damn i really am a loser...HAVE A GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!!!

i'm alive!!!

2005-07-02T16:51:00.000-04:00

all i have to say is WOW!!! THAT WAS FUCKIN AWESOME!!! i went sky diving today and i'm still alive and believe it or not i wasnt scared...AT ALL!!! that was by far the coolest thing i have done so far in my life, and i'm already set to go again!! i knew this was going to get addicting. i wound up going with my old roommate and my other friend...who did NOT pussy out and decided last minute he would go. then they make you watch a video and the guys telling you you could die, then you sign contracts that releases them of any liability even if it were a result of their own negligence and everywhere in the 3 page contract says...in bold....MAY RESULT IN INJURY OR DEATH! what idiot would sign that? me! then we're on the plane strapped to my instructor guy...and his junk was right up my ass....he's like "this is the point when we get to know each other better"(sugarv you would probably love it! ) it was sooooo cool (not that he had his junk in my ass, the whole experience) it's really NOT that scary...so i'm definitely going again and i think everyone should consider it. you get to see life at a whole different perspective... have a great weekend everybody!! :)

confession

2005-06-30T21:57:00.000-04:00

i am very proud of myself for taking and making through my public speaking class. i hate this shit more than you will ever know!! AND...i made it through with an A!! woo hoo! i fuckin rock! thanks to everyone who kept my spirits high and encouraged me throughout this class. :)

why jumping out of a plane at 13,500 ft is justified

2005-06-28T21:17:00.000-04:00

1. if you're going to break a leg/arm or other body part wouldnt you rather tell people it was bc you went sky diving as opposed to a car accident?
2. if you die....what an awesome way to go out!
3. i get to see a view that not many people get to see. even if you're been on a plane there's stuff hindering your view. i will have nothing in my way and can look around the sky like i've never seen it before (i'm so excited)
4. i'm not worried about the chute not opening....bc it's my first jump and i have to jump tandem with an instructor i feel a lot safer. they're sure as hell going to make sure it's packed right if they're going to be risking their life as well.
5. let's just say the chances of your chute not opening in one jump is 99% (not too sure on the number). if you're only doing one jump there's a 99% chance that you'll be fine! now, if you do 100 jumps, the chances of your chute opening each and every time the percentage is significantly lower

so....i dont see what everyone is so afraid of....just DO IT...you only live once :)

reasons i'm excited

2005-06-27T13:40:00.000-04:00

1. i'm glad i dont have big sloppy saggy titties
2. i'm all signed up for sky diving on sat (hope the weather is nice!)!!
3. i asked my old roomate if she would come sky diving with me, to which she replied, "hell there's nothing i wouldnt do...except anal" (now i have someone to go with)
4. my b-day is in 8 days!!!
5. this weekend is going to kick ass...house party, sky diving, boardy barn, the 4th, beach...ahhhhh
6. my class is over this week
7. i'm going to be an aunt for the first time any day now
8. i get to practice beer pong this weekend so that i'm prepared to kick some ass next weekend!! i'm a little rusty, havent played in years!

i have the BEST luck!!!

2005-06-25T12:11:00.000-04:00

so i had to go take the PCAT this morning. was supposed to wake up at 3:30am...didnt until 4:50am. my train is 15-20 min away from my house and it leaves at 5:43am. soooo...i lay in bed going "hmm...maybe i should just stay in bed and not go at all. i woke up late and i'm not ready for the test anyway....nah...i should go" so i get up take a quick shower, stop off at the gas station...speed to the train station by a ticket and jump on 30 seconds before the doors close. so far so good. i get in the city at 7am my test starts at 8:30. so i take my time and decide to take a cab. "hey can you take me to NYU?"
cab driver" ahhhh NYU medical center?"
me: ummm noo NYU the university
cabbie: sure sure (calls for directions)
me: thanks
cabbie: medical center?
me: no the school
so he starts driving...and i'm looking at the map, hes going the right way.
he drops me off at the NYU medical center!!
cabbie: we're here...medical center
me: uggg...k this is fine i'll walk
so i walk a few blocks over to where he was SUPPOSED to drop me off and sit and wait til 8:30.
they take us upstairs into a room and we're all sitting there. now it's 8:40 and we still havent started.
so the woman walks in and says "hi guys how are you?" then continues to say very casually "yea the test is canceled, they postponed it until next week. they didnt get the test booklets in"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!? i've been up since 5am and got my ass all the way to the city for it to be fucking canceled? someone must seriously hate me! so i'm like whatever now i can go to the beach...i can probably catch the 9:14 train home....MISSED IT BY 5 MOTHERFUCKIN MINUTES!!! so i just got home and i'm actually really happy that i get to go to the beach...but i'm still kind of pissed i wasted my entire morning. have fun this weekend everybody...i'm getting drunk tonight!

2005-06-24T15:57:00.000-04:00

funny how quickly your priorities and perspectives on life can change. here's something different...i got in a fight with my dad today! wow cuz that NEVER happens. so basically it ended up with me cursing at him (which i've NEVER done before). so my original plan was....stay home and save money, go back to school in a year. my NEW plan is...move out as quickly as possible....go back to school in two years. not that much of a difference except one way i'm absolutely miserable and one way i'm extremely happy! hmmmm....what a tough tough tough decision.

moon from massapequa

2005-06-21T21:26:00.000-04:00

i figure i'd stick with c-mac on his "most embarassing moment" although i must admit i'm not really embarrassed i still think it's funny as hell, and would not prevent this tape from ever surfacing...
so when i was in high school i was a BIG MOONER! i mean big, everyone i knew saw my ass. it all started when my friends asked me to moon the next car that was passing. i was like ok...there comes a van...so i moon the car...it stops and my friends mom was like hey christine nice ass! i'm like hey mrs. "..." thanks! from then on it was my "thing"
i have pictures of it from italy. when i went to florida i had a friend write "suck it" on my ass(when the saying was cool) and proceeded to wake up this girl i didnt like that was sleeping in the next room(funny how after that we became friends)
but here's what i think is my best mooner moment...
i went to high school in massapequa and our friend evan was a year older than us. so when he graduated and went away to school he asked us girls to make a tape from massapequa...keeping him up to date on what he was missing. so we put together this gay ass tape of us going out, our gay kickline/cheerleader routines, us dancing like retards, and all the other stupid shit we do. the finale of the tape was me...mooning the camera saying "hey evan just incase you forgot this is what the moon looks like from massapequa!" (side note: my friend chris that was taping was all excited about this scene bc he "felt like he was taping a porn")
so anyway....we mail it to him and move on with our lives.
senior prom comes around and i had just started dating someone from out of town and he came with me. there were about 10 guys there that graduated and were friends with evan. and on ten different occasions came up to me (in front of the guy i was dating) and said in a drunken slur really loud "HEY I SAW YOUR ASS!!!!!" ahhhhh...good times...good times! :)
p.s. even though that was about 5-6 years ago...sometimes...my little moon still shines

my adventure to CT

2005-06-19T15:16:00.000-04:00

i went to the dave concert in CT with my friend jen....here's what happened...
first off dont EVER see a concert at the meadows...IT SUCKS!!!!!
so we take the ferry over to CT and arrive at the hotel...so far so good...
we left for the concert and sat in traffic for a good 30 minutes or so...our hotel was like 1 mile away we shouldve just walked. parked in some random fuckin parking lot by a citgo because apparently when they built this place they didnt make it with a parking lot large enough to accomodate all of the people (that would NEVER happen in NY). so we wind up having to walk a mile to the place anyway...took a good ten minutes...UP HILL!! luckily, we were fortunate to catch about 5 CT cops BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF SOME GUY IN THE STREET! then the cops were kind enough to call an ambulance for him. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! i've lived in NY for 23 years and have gone to the city plenty of times and i've never seen that! i'm in CT for 3 hours and i've seen some of the weirdest shit ever! (oh and on the parkway it says...you have just entered a public water area...what the hell is that?)
sooo...we get in, meet up with some of her coworkers and decide we want beer...slash that...NEEEEEEED beer. there are three lines where you have to get a bracelet so you can drink. i wanna know the dumbass that set this up. the lines were....25 and younger, 26-30 and 31 and up. now about 85% of dave fans are 25 and younger so we waited on line for a fuckin bracelet for (i kid you not) AN HOUR AND A FUCKIN HALF...now i'm a small girl and there were these retard fuckin guys pushing us around...i had to slip them the elbow a few times...i'll fight back i dont care (ps my elbow is like a freakin knife, you dont want that). the guy that was working our line had 3 FUCKIN TEETH and probably couldnt read so i dont know how he was checkin ID's. AND...we had to FILL OUT A FUCKIN FORM!!!!!!!. this place is absolutely insane! so we get our fuckin bracelets and get tons of beer, cuz we're practically dying now.
then we had to climb up this big steep grassy hill to get to our spot. we had lawn seating so we were standing the whole time (not a big deal) but there were people there that got sooooo fucked up they couldnt stand, people pissing and/or throwing up by the fence...oh wait and there was this girl straddling a guy on the fence straight out fuckin the shit out of him. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!? so we down our beers quickly to block out what we were seeing and had an AWESOME time anyway. CT is by far the shittiest place i've ever been to!...never see a concert there. on the better side...our hotel room beds...although probably coated with piss and semen....by far the most comfortable bed i've ever slept in!...shit had a pillowtop and everything! now i'm home...and back to my stressing about the speech i have tomorrow that i'm totally unprepared for and my test that i have sat. hope everyone had a good weekend!

Question

2005-06-17T09:47:00.000-04:00

if a gay man jumped on your back, would you let him stay on or would you jerk him off?

my teacher is a complete retard!

2005-06-15T23:02:00.000-04:00

so i'm taking a public speaking class...and our next topic is a "concept" speech...whatever the fuck that means. these are what some of the students in my class are doing...
1. organized crime
2. divorce
3. fossil fuels
4. ADD

HOW ARE THESE CONCEPTS?!?!? it doesnt make sense to me at all, no one understands the assignment, but when these students walked up to her and said their topic she goes...ok great! i go up and said i would like to talk about the concept of the mind and body relationship...she goes "i dont get it" ARE YOU SERIOUS? it's been around since fuckin descartes! how do you NOT understand its a "CONCEPT". so she said email it to me what you mean by that. so i did, i said something along the lines of how the state of your mind can effect the physical condition of your body. e.g. if you're depressed you may tend to get sick bc your immune system gets weaker. she goes "i think that's a little broad, maybe you should talk about yoga that brings the mind and body together" first off,....i dont want to fuckin talk about yoga i want to talk about how research is done to show that treating the mind along with the body can be a useful treatment for cancer and HIV and have seen longer life expectancies. i think thats a little more important that fuckin yoga. so anyway, i go into class and she makes us read our thesis. so i did, and everyone in my class was like you always pick the best topics! so now the fuckin moron is like..."i know she's so creative..blahblhabalbah" i'm really not that creative...open up any fuckin philosophy or psychology book and you'll see it right there...YOU FUCKIN DOLT!!!! ...it seems i'm back to my normal self.

update

2005-06-13T21:44:00.000-04:00

grams is still in the hospital :( she's been in since friday night and the earliest she'll get out is wed, they need to run some more tests. i feel really bad for her and i feel even more horrible that i can't even go visit her, between work and class everynight i cant make it out there to see her. i did go see her throughout the weekend just to keep her company but now she's all alone. she was usually alone when she was home, but a hospital is so much worse. you're sick, you dont know whats wrong with you, you're scared, and you have no one to comfort you. this is absolutely KILLING me! i'm always there for my family, and there were so many times when i dropped everything to be with them, my dad and my sister i just went up to my boss and said i'm leaving and i didnt care what they thought. i was there everyday and most nights when my other grandmother was dying and when my mom was sick last summer i took off three weeks to go with her to a hospital in colorado eventhough that would mean not having enough money to pay my bills. and i feel like a horrible granddaughter not being able to be there with my grams while she's scared and upset. i was there with her on sunday just talking and she asked what i've been up to and i told her about school and the big test i have in two weeks. she was like well you should get out of here and work on it and i know she understands. when i left i gave her a kiss on the cheek and she said thanks for being there for me when i needed you. but i feel like i havent done anything. i could do so much more. sorry for the emotional depressing entry. i promise the next will be on a lighter note or an angry more humorous note. have a goodnight everyone

it's a wonderful life

2005-06-11T10:31:00.000-04:00

i usually use my blog to bitch and complain....so why change that now? all i need to do is get through the next three weeks, do well in my class and on my PCATS and i'll be fine. so yesterday i took my sis to the dr (she's pregnant) for her regular appt. went back to her apt and passed the hell out. i dont know what happened to me yesterday but i was so freakin tired. so when i finally got up at 5pm i was so mad at myself for not studying or doing any work. so i go home put some laundry in and sat down to start studying when i get a phone call. its my gram's dr and they want me to take her to the hospital right away bc her blood count is really low. so i take her, my dad meets up with us and we're there til midnight. she'll be there for two days and she's not happy about it. she keeps being uncoorperative bc she says "i dont need a gown i'm leaving in two minutes!" "i have a shower to go to tomorrow" she's really upset that she can't go to my sister's baby shower today. i feel so bad for her right now and she was really upset that my dad and i were there so late. she'll be ok though she's a trooper! i take back all the nasty things i've said about her. i'm not religious at all, but if you are pray for her. thanx!

uh oh

2005-06-08T12:57:00.000-04:00

there's a picture of me and my friend that i've been talking about recently on the boardy barn website. ..usually i would be opposed to posting a picture of myself...however it catches me in a compromising situation...keep in mind we are JUST friends and nothing happened, but it looks bad
i'm the short anorexic looking girl in the center...and my friend is the one with the red hat
http://community.webshots.com/photo/359158247/359189376MetRGp#

yesterday at the beach

2005-06-06T14:37:00.000-04:00

i went to the beach yesterday with my "friend" the one i've been bitching about lately. he always plays pranks on me...he can keep a joke going for days and i hate him for it...although its pretty funny...anyway...
so we were at the beach staring at the water, then looked at each other..."should we do it? (not with each other...meaning go into the water)" we finally decide to go for it.
the water was fuckin freezing!!! it took us about an hour to get in. about that time i ask him..

Me: "hey arent you concerned that wearing white board shorts and going in the water that people can see your junk?" (they're white with that green pattern that all boardshort bathingsuits have)

retard: "no i checked it out when i first bought them"

Me: "are you sure...because i can see your shit..." (and i start laughing and pointing really loud)

retard: "oh my god are you serious?"

Me: "ummmm....you should really consider keeping your waist below water...who buys white bathingsuits?" (still laughing my ass off)

retard: "seriously?" (now cupping both hands over his cock and balls...face red...standing in the ocean in front of tons of people)

me: "i'm not kidding...its pretty funny though" (still laughing at him)

retard : "chris this isnt funny...i'm getting out of the water"

Me: "dont do that you'll have to walk by all those people they'll be staring at it"

retard: "no i'm getting out...are you serious?"

me: "no calm down...you can stay in the water"

about an hour later... scene...me sitting in my beach chair...him laying on his stomach on his towel...

Me : "hahaha i can still see your ass crack you really need to get a new bathingsuit"

Retard : "chris are you kidding me? i thought you said it was fine...you can see my ass too?" (getting all worked up again)

Me: "haha..nah i'm just kidding"

p.s. put sunscreen on the tops of your feet...i'm fuckin hurting today

PS Topic

2005-06-02T12:13:00.000-04:00

i need help picking a topic for shitty public speaking....i have to talk about some douchbag in the public eye so i need some ideas for people...THANKS!

i hate public speaking

2005-06-01T15:53:00.000-04:00

I'm taking a public speaking class that just started yesterday and tonight we have our first speech/presentation....whatever you want to call it it all sucks... and i'm like really really really bad at it
class starts in about 2 hours and i....
1. still havent decided on a topic or made any attempt to write something up to say
2. have serious stomach cramps that are now radiating up through my chest
3. felt the need to throw up in my mouth at LEAST a half a dozen times...

the worst part is that its only two minutes long and i'm being a baby and wont just decide on something to ramble on about for two minutes. wish me luck

quick bitch

2005-05-28T12:33:00.000-04:00

having a fanfuckintastic weekend so far but i need to bitch for a sec....i'll update you on my weekend when it's over...
so...my grandmother's brother comes and visits her like once a month. and EVERY FUCKIN TIME he parks in the driveway so i have to park somewhere else...which i dont mind...EXCEPT.. that everytime i walk in the door he says "oh i took your spot again...." SO WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP PARKING THERE?!?!?! THERE ARE PARKING SPACES 15 FUCKIN FT AWAY....
k i'm done...returning back to having fun...enjoy your weekend everyone!

word of the day

2005-05-26T11:14:00.000-04:00

Bunghole...it's my new favorite word
try using it in a sentence today...
for example..."i want my bunghole bleached" or "so i was bungholing this girl and ...."

I'm soooo productive

2005-05-25T10:31:00.000-04:00

Here was my plan for last night:
1. put all my laundry away
2. go to the gym
3. study for my test
4. do a little food shopping

Here's what i did:
1. looked at my laundry
2. drove past the gym
3. left my book in the car and since it was raining...didn't study
4. again...the rain...didnt feel like going outside to go food shopping
5. watched tv from the second i got home...in bed...cuz my room is too fuckin cold all the time. (House was such a damn good episode last night....woo hoo! i LOVE THAT FREAKIN SHOW!)
6. debated via text message with my friend over my other douchbag friend....i can't stand him right now...wrote a blog about him...cant decide if i should post it or not

so now i'm just pissed...woke up this morning to shitty new york weather. left my house early...still got to work late...APPARENTLY PEOPLE CANT FUCKIN DRIVE WHEN THEY SEE A CAR PULLED OVER IN THE SHOULDER....SO I SAT IN TRAFFIC FORFUCKINEVER!! are people really that retarded? all i can say now is i'm hungry and i cant wait for lunch

another i hate people segment

2005-05-24T16:45:00.000-04:00

since it's been requested by the sugarv heres the continuation of my story...
so i've been fighting(not talking) to one of my friends lately cuz he's a fuckin douchbag....here's a little bit about him and why i can't stand him right now:
1. he's a guy but he's got no fuckin balls
2. he's a pussy...28 years old and probably still being weened off his mothers tits
3. he's so dependent on other people...that i can tell who he's talking to or not talking to (as far as girls go) by how much he calls me and asks me to hang out. he always NEEDS to have a girl around...even if only as a friend
4. he's a pussy...i'd call him pussynuts but he's got no nuts
5. he plays off that hes generous and caring and blahblahblah...when really he's just selfish, he only helps people when it benefits himself or when the problem is with him
6. he's a fuckin pussy
7. he's stubborn (so am i, thus the basis of most of our problems)
8. he always plays the i need help card...i'm sad...i'm depressed...blahblahblah. i bitch about my problems just as much as anyone else. and i'll complain about things i have to do and put them off for awhile...but i still do them. he complains about his relationships...himself...his job...how he's not in school etc. AND DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT IT.

so...i havent talked to him...he should just get his ass to a plastic surgeon and get his sex changed now to reflect the way he acts.

hmmmmm

2005-05-24T15:07:00.000-04:00

Do i go to the gym tonight, and try to study....or just go home? i'm ssooooo freakin lazy!

I'll say it again

2005-05-23T10:14:00.000-04:00

I...
Hate....
Mondays!!!!

Penis Envy

2005-05-21T20:31:00.000-04:00

I used to think it was like a "thing" people would say and that it was completely untrue....but it's not...guys have it SOOOO easy (in my opinion) here's why:

1. bc you're not supposed to trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die.
2. you can do dick tricks...i cant do shit
3. bc i always wanted to see how far i can pee
4. bc guys can pee anywhere they want....gas tanks....sides of buildings...beer bottles(i surely can't do that!)
5. the only hard thing they have to do is ask someone to marry them...and chances are...they know the person will say yes. and it's so easy to get a girl to LIKE you...for girls...its easy to get a guy to want to BANG you.
6. at anytime they want they can rub one out...do the stranger or whatever....talk about it and its no big deal
7. it's soooo easy for them to do the pee in the cup drug test....do you have any idea how difficult that can be for girls?...you gotta get it right up in there...it sux
8. guys can have sex with 30 girls and they're "the man" girls have sex with 30 guys and they're a fuckin dirty whorebag skank....
9. it takes two minutes to get ready even for a formal event....AAAANNDDD...you don't have to worry about what to wear...CUZ YOU ALL WEAR THE SAME SHIT!
10.bc guys can say nasty things...like "i wanna bang the shit out of her", "oh the things i would do to her" and if i say it?...well then i'm not very lady-like and blahblahblah.

so for all you guys out there....you lucky bastards!...

Damn it!

2005-05-20T12:36:00.000-04:00

Apparently i've been "tagged" by C-Mac. so here goes...

01. Total volume of music files on my computer?None...my computer crashed and i had to get rid of them....but i used to have about 500 or so.

02. The last CD I bought was: Lifehouse...the new one...still havent listened to it yet.

03. Song playing right now: Nothing...i'm stuck in a room with no noise...the radio sucks and doesnt really work so i am forced to sit here in silence

04. Five songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me(in no particular order):
Billy Joel - And so it goes
Dashboard Confessional-the entire cd
Pearl Jam - Betterman
DMD-all of it
Josh Groban-America (not originally his)

Hey guess what...i didnt comply BUT that's cuz these are some of my favorite people/bands so i just let the whole cd play through if you dont like it....suck it!

05. Five people I am tagging with this and why.....
ummmm...no thanx ....RIP :)

dr. carter farewell

2005-05-20T10:19:00.000-04:00

Last night was dr carter's last night on ER. I cried like a little child. i can't believe he's gone...i dont even know if i can watch the show anymore :( such a sad day

i hate cops!

2005-05-19T11:11:00.000-04:00

First off....let me just say that i have THE WORST luck ever! everytime i get pulled over i get a ticket...there's no talking out of it... and its probably bc i start a fight with them and quiz...(hint-they dont really like that) so i always get tickets....THOSE BASTARDS! anyway, on my way to work this morning i couldnt believe what i saw....
THIS BITCH in an SUV cuts off a cop almost causing an accident and forcing the cop to change lanes...and she didnt signal. as i'm passing the SUV moments later i notice that that fuckin bitch was on the phone too and the COCK SUCKING, ASS FUCKIN SHITDICK DIDN'T EVEN PULL HER OVER!!!! that's soooooo annoying! deep breath...deep breath...k i'm good! lata!

pet peeves

2005-05-18T10:14:00.000-04:00

some of my biggest pet peeves (or people i want to kill):
1. close talkers
2. people who chew with their mouth OPEN
3. slow drivers
4. people who don't shower daily (sugarv being the exception)
5. people who wear their cell phone clipped to their belt "RING IT TO THE HIP!"
6. people who are fake
7. people that think they can sing...so they sing...and THEY ARE COMPLETELY FUCKIN TONEDEAF!
8. people that lick the teachers asshole clean and answer all their questions and brag about their grades
9. drunken people that i have to babysit while we're out
10. people that are immature, and insensitive

Grams!

2005-05-17T20:08:00.000-04:00

i live with my dad and my grandma. and while my grandma annoys me to no end and i'm going to hell for many things i say i love her to death. here's some of the funniest shit she's done since we've been living together. just to give you a visual she's 100 % italian just about 5 ft tall, hunched over with a walker.
1. "everything is better in queens!" she claims the milk lasted longer there and wanted to write the milk company a letter telling them that.
2. she ate all the snickers at halloween and when i came home looking for one...she said i think your dad is hiding them in his room...he wasn't.
3. went to call the cops to file a missing report on me bc she didnt know where i was at 3 IN THE AFTERNOON.
4. drops stuff on the floor, stains the carpet and when my dad asks what happen...she says "i dont know what is wrong with this place...its coming up from below the carpet"
5. my dad asked her to turn down the tv (she's in deaf denial) and he said you really dont know it's that loud...to which she politely replied, "YOU SHOULD HEAR YOURSELF YOU JACKASS!"
6. she's a human garbage disposal, and everytime an ENTIRE entemanns cake is missing and my dad asked what happened to it cuz he bought it the day before...she says that i ate it.
7. she relayed a message that "the colored boy from next door stopped by for you"
8. when we make a shopping list we tell her to ONLY put the stuff that she wants on it...when we ask her what she wants flour for...she says "i thought chris(me) might want to make cookies" or to my dad "i thought you might want hamburgers"
9. we'll come home from work and they'll be a variety of food prepared for us...none of the stuff we eat and she knows it.
10. my brother came over..."tom you want some food?" "no grandma i'm not hungry." two secs later "tom you want some soda?" "no i'm ok" 2 secs later "tom you want a donut...we got donuts!!" "no thanks i just ate" my brother goes to the bathroom and comes out to see a donut and a glass of soda waiting for him at the table.

that's just a few things and i'm sure they'll be many more!!!

2005-05-16T11:12:00.000-04:00

i hate bugs...any kind...spiders...worms...anything and everytime i walk through a spiderweb or something i flip the hell out and i'm convinced one is crawling on me....anyway...got two stories for ya.
1. my complex did a crappy job on construction design and put the light right by the doorway. so at night all the bugs fly around there and spiders made a home at the top of the doorway (theres like a little overhang). i'm not even kidding when i say there were at least 20 spiders up there once...i counted. so when you open up the door sometimes the spiders drop. so i would open the door...look for any movement and run out and slam the door behind me. one time it didnt work out as it should've. i did the usual routine and was on my way out in the summer time wearing a tank top and jeans. got in my car and started driving until i felt something creeping around on me. THE SPIDER DROPPED DOWN MY SHIRT. i started screaming pulled the car over and ran around like a freakin lunatic. i hate them.
2. i was on my way to class one night around 5 with my friend at stonybrook. and the walkway is covered by trees. we're walking down laughing, joking around until i look up and the way the light was reflecting i saw a sheet of shiny strings hanging off the limbs of the trees and the little green caterpiller thingys danging at the ends. i start running onto the open field and scream to my friend to follow. we're both yelling and screaming and people are watching us thinking we're fuckin nuts and we're flipping out hair and checking each other to make sure nothing was on us. then we saw this kid walking the same walkway and tried to tell him not to do it...he just walked through it like there was nothing there it was disgusting.
maybe i shouldnt have told these stories. i feel like i'm covered in them now.

2005-05-16T10:59:00.000-04:00

I..
HATE...
MONDAYS!!!

aaaahhhhhhh!

2005-05-15T19:14:00.000-04:00

i need to move out! so i got in about 2 fights with my dad this weekend and he wasnt even here for more than 5 hours. but its always something....i need to vent. it's always something...he bitches like a nagging wife. sooo....i've taken steps to remove myself with having to deal with some of these problems since i've been living with him. today i decided that i'm going to go food shopping for myself (not that i wont pick up stuff for them but i wont let him buy stuff for me). i'll explain... he'll go food shopping, not buy stuff i eat or if he does and there's a little food left over he gets all pissed...i dont know why i buy it if you're not going to eat it and blahblahblah. sometimes i'm busy at night and i'm just not home to eat...i dont plan it, it just happens. i figured if i spend my own money i wont have to hear the bitch bitch. i just got back about 30 min ago and hes like all pissed...why'd you buy that...why'd you buy that? we have some of that...you're not going to eat all of that...i'm like SHUT UP ITS NOT YOUR FREAKIN MONEY... i just cant freakin win. and on fri night he actually tried to ground me... i laughed at him...i'm 22 years old and my room i'll admit is messy...not dirty...just messy. my room is too small for all my crap so i usually just have a lot of clothes on the floor. and he said if you cant be responsible and clean your room you're not going to the dave concert. i just laughed and was like yea ok!!! i'm not a bad kid by any means and i try not to "talk back" but sometimes i cant take it. he just overreacts about things all the time and usually my response is dad its not a big deal calm down. sometimes it works...hes going to wind up giving himself another heart attack...soooo right now i just feel like putting my fist through a wall and i've never really wanted to do that before

another random

2005-05-13T10:41:00.000-04:00

i would also like to include the name shitdick...which i have specifically set aside for thesugarV :) i think you'll find it very appropriate

please read

2005-05-12T21:54:00.000-04:00

i was listening to the radio this morning and they were talking about a 6 year old boy from my home town that is very sick. it's really a very sad unfortunate story and i've been thinking about it all day...so i just want to post the website and encourage people to at least take a look at it if not try and help out... i dont know this family personally , but i guess when your mom was really sick for a while and another kid my age i was close with kept relapsing and their family needed financial help you tend to get emotional when anyone is going through the same situation and i was just really grateful when others helped us out now its time to give back and realize that it doesnt matter if you know them or not you should still try and do whatever you can...thanx :)
http://wbab.com/morningshow/jakebrower.html

random

2005-05-12T21:53:00.000-04:00

i wanna call someone "skidmark" any takers??!?!?

interesting hook-up stories

2005-05-11T19:11:00.000-04:00

i'm sorry to say that probably none of these are actually mine...but i just heard a new story from my friend that made me thing of all the other funny shit that's happened to them...i'd like to share their stories...here are the top three...
1. my friend "kris" a girl was hanging out with some guy watching a movie at his house...when all of a sudden he got up started singing .."i'm too sexy for my shirt" and stripping down to his pink thong said i'll give you a back massage...she didnt want to but was frozen in shook...he proceeded to hit her on the back with his dick...she finally got the courage to be like what the fuck is wrong with you and left.
2. my old roomate from college walks in her sleep...she was working at the bar got wasted and had a regular (that she became friends with and had a crush on) take her back to his BASEMENT apt. where they hooked up. she woke up in the morning UPSTAIRS in the bathroom with no shirt on and had to try and find her way back downstairs...kept opening doors to find the stairs and just saw people sleeping and no the idiot didnt grab a towel from the bathroom.
3. that same friend had a random hookup with some guy that apparently felt comfortable enough to ask her, "FINGER MY ASSHOLE" she was like umm...ya need to leave now.

i must say i'm jealous of their stories...never have a funny shit happen to me...but i still love to hear them

2005-05-10T10:14:00.000-04:00

so i went to the culture club in the city this weekend for the first time ever. it was awesome...i was done before i even got there so i was guaranteed a good time. anyway...what's up with the guys that are out there now? they are either juiced up rejects or...this guy was my FAVORITE...wearing tight...i mean not just nut hugger tight that give a little hint...i mean like that shit was molded around his junk...hot pink sparkly spandex pants and a short tight navy blue shirt and he was dancing like a machine out there too...it was hysterical. then on friday night i went out with my friend to a low-key bar where there was this girl rubbing her shit all over this guy's leg. but thats not even the best part...besides the fact that she looked like trash...and they were clearly both wasted...she wasnt even doing a good job at her stripper act. it was pathetic. at least if she could move like a stripper i'd give her credit..but it was BBBAAADDD...it was like watching a trainwreck. something you were so digusted by but just HAD to keep watching there were like 20 of us just blatantly staring and laughing and imitating her all night

mother's day

2005-05-08T14:22:00.000-04:00

so it's mother's day so i'm pretty sure i'm supposed to be appreciative of all the things she's done for me and blahblahblah. i'll tell you what and i'm sure i'm not the only one...i do it because society tells me i have to, bc its mother's day and i'm supposed to. but i'll be honest i really don't want to. i could do away with father's day too. dont get me wrong i love both of my parents. but my "family" is my brother and my sister. my parents havent really been great parents....better than most...but not as great as i'd wish them to be. and its sad that i think this...i almost feel guilty about it. but arent parents supposed to give to their children before themselves and be encouraging and loving and understanding?? cuz thats what i thought. it didnt help that they got divorced when i was 12 and put me in the middle of all their problems and bitched about each other in front of me. its over ten years later and they still hate either other. i dont wish this on any child. parents are supposed to SUCK IT UP. i've told them bitch to someone else i dont want to hear it. ya know how hard it was to get money for tickets to the prom...its my freakin prom and it was made into such an ordeal. my dad, "well i give your mother all my money ask her" my mom, "your fathers the one that makes all the money" ARG...someone just give me 100 bucks! now i will say this i'm reflecting on how it was when i was a child...now the divorce itself doesnt bother me. it was definitely better than living in a home with them while all they do is fight.
now my problem...?? just them. is that bad? am i a horrible person for this? i know they love me and they have absolutely done things to make my life easier. my mom is supportive and knows i'm a good kid, knows my potential and trusts me...but doesnt help me and has never helped me financially since i've been living with my dad. i didnt even get a fuckin graduation gift when i graduated college. and when she was sick for 2 years and had to go away to a hospital my already broke ass took off work for three weeks to go with her. my dad on the other had is really only a financial provider. he thinks i'm like my mom (which i'm definitely not cuz shes crazy) and he hates my mom...you see where i'm going with this. thinks i'm irresponsible, immature and i'm pretty sure he thinks i'm a slut cuz i'm friends with guys i've dated. and i plan on going to school for pharmacy and when i told him he said, "oh great now i'm going to have to bail your ass out when it gets messed up" HOW DO YOU SAY THAT TO YOUR CHILD?!?!? he is totally unsupportive for my future plans...i never asked him for any fuckin money. in fact when i was 12 and 13 and he would have me every other saturday we'd be out and i'm like oh nice shirt hes like ya want it? and i would say no...bc even at that age i didnt want our time together to be about money...i didnt want him to think i just hung out with him to get stuff. and now he thinks i'm this bad person and has actually said that my mom did a shitty job of raising me....real fuckin nice right? on the other hand i'm very fortunate and he paid for my tuition...car insurance and a new car when i totalled it. and i'm grateful for that but come on.
so now i'm older...more independent...more confident and i just dont fuckin care what they say anymore bc 1. they're both wrong and 2. bc they dont even know me. the only people in my family whose opinions about my actions i actually respect are my brother and sister's. we've formed our own new family and keep a distant and civil relationship with our parents. i love my parents and i would really do anything for them but sometimes they can be so shitty.
so back to my original problem...i ramble a lot...as someone you cant lie...and i mean physically can't lie its written all over my face...how do i buy a gay hallmark card and tell my mom thats shes so wonderful and that shes my best friend and all that other gay shit they write in those cards when i don't really mean it?

just to clarify...

2005-05-06T22:06:00.000-04:00

even though i only have a whole two readers...i would like to say...
my name freakyvirgin should be defined...i'm freaky in that i have a sick and perverted mind. the name is NOT to imply that i claim to be a vagina virgin...but do it in the butt...i'd still be dirty. i am 100 % pure...however...i'm also 22 years old soon to be 23. there are no religious reasons why this has happened. there are no serious physical deformities that would inhibit me from engaging in such an act and i'm not fat or seriously unattractive (this is another wonder i have....why seriously less attractive people are getting more action than me). you KNOW its bad when your older brother comes up to you and says "JUST GIVE IT UP ALREADY ! ". on the other hand its something that really amuses me. because of the way i talk and how i'm comfortable and accepting and entertained by other people's sexual adventures people are shocked and usually don't believe me when they find out i'm a "good girl" and i really like proving people wrong :)

...

2005-05-06T10:33:00.000-04:00

i want thesugarV to be my gyno...

supermen?

2005-05-02T13:41:00.000-04:00

what is up with these freakin retards that tie mattresses, sheet rock, or a christmas tree to their car and reach one hand out of the window and try and hold it. i just saw a guy doing it to sheet rock and hes gripping them. if the string breaks....YOU CAN'T HOLD THEM!!! fuckin retards!! seriously....you just look like a douchbag! :)

laying low

2005-05-01T13:44:00.000-04:00

this past week has been complete shit! well i guess it could be worse...i got in a fight with my mom and my sister and that just started the whole downfall of the week. so we're throwing a baby shower for my sister and my sister and my mom have a TERRIBLE relationship...you could say they actually hate each other. my mom wanted to throw the shower at her house and i told my sis and of course she flipped. so i called my mom back to tell her i didnt think it was a good idea...its not big enough...its too far from my sis...blahblahblah...good reasons...all except that my sister doesnt want to have it there. i just didnt have the heart. so i made myself look like an asshole to my mom to "spare" my sister. but my mom can be selfish and had an i-dont-care stubborn attitude "i'm having at my house and thats that. by my sis said that if its there...she just wont fuckin go. then my sister's mother-in-law called (she's awesome...but not the brightest person) and i told her what was going on...two min later i get a call from my sis. "i cant believe you called my mother-in-law to complain about how you were in the middle...forget it...i'll call mom!" her mother-in-law was supposed to call my sis about the DATE ONLY!! dumbass! so then my sis was mad at me and my mom was mad at me and to top it all off...my sis called me again i dont know why you were so afraid to talk to mom she was fine with me....WHAT...THE....FUCK!!! i have a better relationship with my mom than my sis does...even though my mom is crazy so i figured i could deal with her being mad at me for a while. but because of this incident i've been in a bad mood all week. work was busy, i'd just go home and sleep after and not my usual self. it really made me think about shit and i'm tired of being the nice girl. i always wind up getting fucked some how....and not the good way.

i hate titles so i'm not putting one

2005-04-23T15:20:00.000-04:00

so...i thought this was going to be an awesome weekend. going out for my brother's bday on fri and going out with him and some friends again on sat night to see Big Shot...a billy joel tribute band....i'm afraid tonight is going to BLOW!! i'll explain...so i dated this kid and hes nice but really fuckin annoying and my friend decided to ask his friend to come out tonight. so he just called me and hes like oh i think i'm coming out tonight. That fuckin sucks...now i cant have fun..and if that isnt bad enough...this other kid hes nice too but i dont like him and is also friends with my friend...i thought he was going to be away tonight. so i thought awesome i dont have to feel like a bitch not askin him to hang out.. he just called me too..oh what are you doing tonight we're almost home!!! i'm sure i'll have fun anyway...but ultimately i just want to go with my friends and my brother and NOT have to deal with any drama or fuckin babysit and stand there and talk to them all night...what the hell am i going to do? seriously i need help. other than that...i got the place to myself gram's is sleeping out and my friend is coming over and teach me how to cook! me....cook...its fuckin hysterical

last attempt

2005-04-17T23:55:00.000-04:00

i made an attempt to salvage the day and actually went rollerblading...wasnt sure if it was a good idea at the time cuz i still felt a little sick but it turned out to be fantastic. even learned a trick. i'm such a loser. and even did some of my stats homework and tutored my friend a little. cant wait til next weekend already

uuuuhhhhh

2005-04-17T16:38:00.000-04:00

I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN...so i went out last night...good idea....had some drinks...another good idea...had a great time dancing around and bullshitting with friends...good idea....volunteer to sit in the trunk of the SUV on the ride home for a 30 minute ride (when i get really car sick even when i'm sober and usually get automatic shotty if i've been drinking)...baaaaaaaad idea. didnt throw up in the car...but it made me really nauseas (i dont know if i spelt that right) crashed at my friends house cuz i didnt think i could stand being in the car any longer and wasted a beautiful day being hungover like i was 17. i'm soooo freakin pissed.

skanky girls

2005-04-14T22:25:00.000-04:00

do you want to know how to pick out girls that are whores and have low self esteem? they're usually the ones in tank tops and/or miniskirts IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER! and now that the summer is coming up i have some dressing tips for girls now that everyone will be wearing less clothing...
in order to NOT look like a trashy skank:
1. do NOT do your make-up like a coked out prostitute.
2. do NOT get trashed and stumble around while barely wearing any clothes...unless you want to look easy...guys like "dirty" girls cuz they know they could fuck you...not cuz they want to date you.
3. do NOT feel that it's necessary to show every part of your body at once...e.g. do not wear a miniskirt...stilettos and a tube top...if you're going to wear a skirt and show your legs wear a real shirt. and if you want to show some cleavage and and some stomach dont wear a skirt.
4. if you are wearing a skirt...you should NOT be able to see your ass.
5. if you are wearing jeans....you should NOT be able to tell you are wearing a thong....like when you're wearing hip huggers and the thong is so far up your ass that you can actually see the string that's going up your crack.
6. get some self esteem and some self respect.
7. if you like to go commando it is NOT necessary to tell every guy that you meet out.

look i like to show a little from time to time...but do it with some freakin class. yea you'll get the attention of a lot of guys while you're out....but none of them are thinking oh my god she's beautiful i have to talk to her. they'll be thinking she looks easy if i tell her shes pretty i'll probably get to bang the shit out of her and kick her out when i'm down. or she looks like the dirty type of whore that would bang me in the car or in the bathroom, it'll be awesome cuz then i can go back inside and keep drinking with the guys. and if you are one of these girls you should not be surprised when a guy is talking to you just to get laid. i dont want to hear....i cant believe he asked me back to his place to have sex...i mean i know i'm wearing a skirt with no underwear and i look like a hooker but i'm a lady.....no you're not....you're dirty tramp

p.s. i swear i'm not this angry all the time

so i've been thinking

2005-04-14T21:58:00.000-04:00

i'm a pretty laid back girl and i guess you could consider me more like a guy in a relationship....but what is up with these fuckin pansy ass guys out there??? seriously! i've never been the girl thats like dont hang out with your friends hang out with me. i'm like go out and have fun. i'm not going to stalk you and make sure you dont cheat....go out cheat i dont care i'll just dump your ass no loss to me. and why are girls sooooo ofuckin crazy! breaking into their guys emails...reading shit they shouldnt...checking their voicemail messages. am i the only girl thats never done that? shit i was at my friends house (when i was dating him) and there was a card to him from his ex....he wasnt in the room....AND I DIDNT READ IT. dont these bitches know thats an invasion of privacy? if i ever saw a guy snooping through my shit or checking my voicemail i would kick his ass, probably dump him too... it just shows a total lack of respect and trust and i cant take it. i'm more than willing to show you anything i have...but to look for shit behind my back is just not right and i cant be with someone that doesnt trust me. i've never cheated and i'd like to say i never would. but i know about 3 people that are...and just dont care. how do you do that to someone? and how stupid are these people that they're with that havent caught on by now? i had a girl i worked with at a law firm ask me to call a # and ask for jen. so i called and i was like hi is jen there? shes like this is jen (i'm thinking its a client) so i cover the phone and i'm like what do you need from her and shes like hang up hang up. apparently that was the # of a girl that my coworkers boyfriend had in his phone. ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME? and how many times do my friends call me to call their ex's voicemails...give me the code and say do you think he might be dating her? where are all the normal people?!?!?! all of this crap just gives me little hope that there are some genuinely good people out there.
anyway....back to the guys. one of the guys i dated in particular would be like what are you doing tonight? and i'm like going out with the girls? oh well can i come...? NO YA CAN'T! dont you have friends that you can go out with? i'm sick of these guys that are like what are you doing tonight...tomorrow night...the night after that....i hate feeling like i have a rope around me. not like i'd mind going out to the bar with them if they were cool and didnt have to have a hand on you to claim you all night and was secure enough to let you wander with your friends. i went out two weekends ago with my friend and this guy she was kind of seeing and he would not let go of her the entire time we were there. then the next weekend she and i went out with some of my friends that were there the week prior and they were like oh tina where's your backpack? I DONT WANT A BACKPACK!! i just want someone normal thats a good guy. yea i want someone that is somewhat sensitive but not where they are crying wondering why i want to go out with the girls. i thought guys had balls? am i wrong? what happened to the guys that like to watch sports and play them and hang out with the guys and talk about what girls on tv they'd like to fuck? i'd love to be in a relationship right now...but i dont want another full time job where i have to listen to some crying bitch at the other end of the line wondering why i dont want to hang out with them 24-7. seriously guys...get a pair!! and if you ARE a nice guy....well you need to get a pair too and get enough guts and confidence to start approaching those nice girls out there...

too much to do

2005-04-12T21:31:00.000-04:00

damn ya know i started this blog thing really to write about all of the funny shit that happens to me but lately they've actually been sort of serious....ewww and i apologize. but do you ever feel like you have so much shit to do that you don't even know where to start. and some of it is stupid shit that has no real impact on my life. in the next few months i have to ....register for classes...study for the PCATs (if you work with me...shhhh...i wont be going anywhere for awhile anyway but keep it down) research schools and start the application process....plan my sister's baby shower...finish up my class this semester...finish reading my book that i've been reading for 3 months and it sucks ASS but i just want to finish it and get it over with (one of those stupid things) fill out all the stuff for work so that i can be permanent...go to the dentist...and start going back to the gym...and somehow manage to still have some fun and downtime. oh and i wanna learn how to cook bc i pretty much only know how to make toast. aarrrgggg! unfortunately i'm the type of person to procrastinate and spend more time bitching about it than actually doing it when it comes to my personal life. that being said....i'm going to try and read some of that shitty book before i go to bed...it'll probably put me to sleep in about 5 minutes

what the f?

2005-04-11T22:54:00.000-04:00

why is it that so many people are dating people that they're not really that into? i dont get it....why the fuck are you wasting your time. my friend has cheated on her boyfriend for the last year with two different guys and shows no remorse whatsoever and says breaking up with him is on the list of things to do. my other friend has been hooking up with a kid that she really just doesnt like and is asking me if she should give him the courtesy of telling him to his face or just do the "fade out". my guy friend has been cheating on his psycho girl for probably over 2 years now. when we go to the boardy barn he hooks up with like 5 girls each time. and my other friend....good guy...completely lost in every aspect of his life...is dating a girl that he likes but doesnt know what to do about her. look if you liked any of these people that much or fuckin respected them at all for that matter YOU WOULDNT BE FUCKING THEM OVER OR FUCKIN SOMEONE ELSE or dragging them along for the ride! what the hell are these people doing? and i see it everywhere. are people really that afraid of being alone that they'll just settle for someone who's a complete asshole or just mediocre in their minds? some people say well maybe i'll grow to really like them...and while that may be true, i remember the days in jr high and h.s. when i really got excited over guys and couldnt wait for break inbetween 5 & 6 period cuz i'll see him and hope that he says hi. i know things are more complicated now but i just dont get excited over anyone, probably cuz i'm not just looking for only a nice look but an awesome personality too. i just feel like if you meet someone you should know pretty soon if you're interested in getting to know them...and that can be on ANY level, friendship or more. i dont know maybe i'm just living in a fantasy world.

just a little something to share

2005-04-10T19:38:00.000-04:00

real quick...me, my brother in law and my sister almost pissed ourselves when we saw this on tv. on E theres this show called the soup. and they were recapping a show called pet show moms and dads or something like that. another stupid show but whatever. so there was this woman talking about her little shit dog/rat whichever you prefer. and you couldnt even understand the fat bitch so they had to use subtitles. but she was saying "sometimes my dog bites me in the vagina! and it bites the penis of my big dog. i dont know why but it bites me in the vagina!" oh man i'm laughing just thinking about it. on a somewhat related topic. we were also watching king of queens (the same day) and it was an episode on her(dont know her name) gyno. they were in the back of the gyno's house and doug was like "oh my god...hes got vagina's in jars" and the other guy was like nope they're just peaches." not too sure...but this might be one of those "i guess you had to be there stories"

woo hoo!!

2005-04-10T19:28:00.000-04:00

I quit my weekend job at the perfect time! AND...had just about the best weekend i've had in a long time. and to think i was worried that i would be sitting on my ass all weekend not knowing what to do with myself. Just a quick recap of my wonderful weekend. got a manicure and pedicure with my pregnant sister....she's so cute. it was the first time either of us had ever got one. we're completely hooked and the chinese people wouldnt stop laughing at me cuz i was hysterical(i'm a little TOO ticklish) then went shopping to get her some more maternity clothes...and clothes for the little baby girl soon to come. this little girl is going to be a hot bitch with the stuff we bought her today. it's going to be her showing her off for the first time outfit. shit i was i had it its adorable. had breakfast with her both days.....went out last night and had a blast with a group of friends....dancing all night...and i didnt even have to get drunk! nothing funnier than seeing a short girl weighing in at 100 pounds dancing with guys that are three times her size. went to the beach...we all froze our asses off even with sweaters and jeans but it was well worth it, it was beautiful!! :) and i'm going bowling tonight. sometimes i dont think it gets any better than this...but 80 degree weather is coming and tan guys(most likely douchbags but still worth looking at) will be walking around in their board shorts playing who has the bigger dick game. i cant wait to have more options of where to go out i'm sick of the same places over and over again. havent been able to stop smiling all weekend and lovin it!

2005-04-09T20:30:00.000-04:00

i'm having a little dilema...why is it that most guys that i meet out are complete douchbags?...or they're fuckin creepy....or they're good guys that are already taken....or they are good guys that i'm just not interested in. lately, i've been attracted to these guys where a relationship would be completely impossible...1. they're already with someone else 2. they're good friends with a guy i've already dated. and these guys that are with someone else...the girls are selfish controlling bitches. i seriously dont get it. i dont know if its just new york or what, but i'll go out and see tons of hot guys....watch them for 5 minutes and i'm just amazed at how much of an asshole these guys are. i'd like to consider myself somewhat of a good girl that doesnt really put herself out there. and the guys that i'd want are the guys that are too shy to do anything about it. how come the assholes and the creepy guys are the ones with balls? i went out last night to a dinner with a friend and his friend and my friend. it was a pretty formal event. and i've heard that my friend is interested in me. hes an awesome guy! i mean awesome...but i just dont like him like that. i hate the way things turn out. please tell me there are some decent guys out there

2005-04-08T15:37:00.000-04:00